A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
