My brain says no but my pants say off.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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