I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Randomize
