I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
