i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize