so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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