i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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