I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize