Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
