i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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