Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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