this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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