I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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