2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
