i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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