You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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