ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I can't turn off my feet"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
