I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
