she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
