Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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