Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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