gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
