Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
