my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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