Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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