So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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