I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
