We won't sleep together?
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
