I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
