I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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