Me. At least after what I've been through.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize