Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
