if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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