Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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