I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
