I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
