Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have already put on my inside pants.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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