Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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