Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
