She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize