Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
