If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
