DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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