We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
