I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
