Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Sober January is a disaster.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize