ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
