so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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