In the future we'll all be gay
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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