3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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