We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
