I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
