im having a threesome with these popsicles
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize