I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
