So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
