scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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