I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
