I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
