help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
