Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
