Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
