When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
