how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
