So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
